In early 1997, Judith Podell published an essay on "How to Sing the Blues" in Wordrights Magazine. Without her permission, someone transcribed it and began mailing it around the world and spreading it all over the Internet. After years of following the "How to Sing the Blues" legend around and only finding cold dead-end leads, I found a copy of her collected essays "Blues For Beginners and Other Obsessions" (Argonne House Press, 2001) which contains the original essay. Determined to find the author, and following some intensive internet detective work, I recently managed to contact Judith and received her permission to publicize the closing essay in the book.
Please remember that this is copyrighted material, and if you like it, please give credit when you quote it!
>>We have all wondered and speculated from time to time about what would happen if a certain cultural icon or hero had not died young. What if Jimi Hendrix had awoken from his drunken stupor in that flat in London on September 18th and lived to be 66 years old? Judith Podell has answered some of these questions for us in the following essay.<<
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Death of the Blues
by Judith Podell
copyright 2001
Vienna, 1902. Sigmund Freud seeking non-addictive cocaine substitute discovers Prozac. Revises Civilization and Its Discontents to add happy ending, repudiates psychoanalysis. Incidence of neurasthenia plummets, as does Jewish birth rate. Apprentice pastry-chef Ludwig Wittgenstein invents the Sacher-Masoch tort.
Prague, 1912. Franz Kafka moves out of parents' house, marries. Writes Metamorphosis, popular children's story about a man who turns into a great big bug and has many exciting adventures.
London, 1920. T.S. Eliot tears up drafts of Wasteland, tells Ezra Pound he wants to write show tunes for shop girls and live on the Riviera. Teams up with George Geshwin to write Cats!.
Memphis, 1926. Bessie Smith quits Vaudeville, opens beauty parlor. Robert Johnson tries to buy back soul from the devil, struck by lightening.
Berlin, 1933. Metamophosis adapted for stage. Lotte Lenya sings the Ballad of Max the Roach. Burning of the Reichstag.
London, 1944. Churchill takes up exercise and quits smoking for the duration of the Blitz. House and Garden editor Virginia Woolf urges wartime Britain 'think Chintz'. 10,000th performance of Cats!.
1952. Dixieland legend Miles Davis quits show business to attend Dental School. Billie Holiday records White Chrstmas with Perry Como.
1956. Steep decline in alcoholism, Soviet birthrate. Nikita Krushchev tells U.S. "We will bury you - in cheap household appliances". Russia leads world in production of hair dryers and toasters.
1964. Lawrence Welk named Downbeat Musician of the Year. Battle of the Bands won by British barbershop quartet, Rolling Stones.
1970. Janis Joplin passes California Bar. Green Beret Jim Morrison missing in action. Billie Holiday stars in revival of Cats.
1978. Sylvia Plath marries Ernest Hemmingway, opens first bed and breakfast in Ketchum.
1984. IPO for Sylvia Plath Lifestyle, Inc. withdrawn after hunting accident.
2000, Memphis. Stash of old records found in yard sale. rare performances by Robert Johnson, Bukka White, and Son House. Antiques Roadshow estimates value at $5.
Nobody gets the blues.
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Click here to purchase your own copy of "Blues For Beginners and Other Obsessions" from Amazon.com
You can read more essays by Judith in my recent entries here:
"Blues For Advanced Beginners"
"Animal Behavior"
1 comment:
Thank you, Eli. I like the form this essay evolved into but lack of attribution is one of the curses of popular culture. Credit should go where credit is due, and you've done a great kindness by following this up and publishing the real skinny.
There's another story of research that leads to this same answer at
http://lizditz.typepad.com/i_speak_of_dreams/2003/12/an_adventure_in.html
Cheers!
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